Eulogy for Marshall Barer



WRITTEN AND DELIVERED
by
Brandon Maggart
Oct. 4, 1998
at
Theatre West
Los Angeles, CA.


I know Marshall enjoyed being the center of attention but this is going way too far, in my opinion. But I DO understand. You see, Marshall started doing his cabaret act when he was well
into his sixties. He did the "act" many, many times and then eased gracefully, into his "Farewell Performances." – his "Final , Farewell Performances," and his "Final, Final Farewell Performances for the Last Time" series. At this point, he thought his public wouldn't stand for any more extensions. SO, FINALLY, NOW, it HAS come to this; MARSHALL1S FINAL CURTAIN. Alea Iacta Est. Finita. It's over. --There WILL be ONE more FINAL Gala Tribute in New York on November the Thirteenth. --With the possibility of a short tour. After that, well, there is some talk about a certain --never married Jew --with a following, that's planning a really big comeback. But for now, --here we are. He has gathered us together and....

'Twas on a night like this
That we would have a bite...
We'd munch a bunch of late, late lunch
And Marshall would recite.

Sated with food, Marshall quite nude,
He'd sing of joys
A Broadway show, reviews that glow
And chorus boys..

And on a night like this
Would Marcovicci dare
Feinstein, too, and maybe you..
A night "Beyond Compare."

With songs we all love - let's hope he's above

To share the bliss
Of Marshall Barer
On a Night Like This one as we remember Marshall–

Marshall Louis Barer, born February 19th, 1923, was an artiste unique, calling himself, "The irrepressible, wafer-thin Anglo-sexual, psycho-Semitic, and almost unbearably gifted,
Marshall Baer." Defining a category occupied only by himself, he was Seattle Slew in a one horse race. -–A man TOTALLY embracing the ART of being Marshall Barer. Painstakingly putting a string of words together and letting them laugh and sing and dance with talented composers was what he did best. He could also have been a great spelunker. (I've been told that a few people might not know that a spelunker is a person who investigates the long and winding trails back into the remote reaches of caves. A good spelunker marks his trail going in so that he can easily and quickly extricate himself should he need to flee the premises.) Marshall certainly did leave a clearly marked trail of crumbs and other disarray easily traced into and out of homes across this country and extensively in Europe. These two talents, as you know, won him the well-deserved distinction of being "our best living lyricist and worst living houseguest". The honor was retired with Marshall on August 25th,1998 in Santa Fe, New Mexico. He was 75. About a year ago, Marshall said.he'd figured out that he should never be a house guest for longer than three days; after that he would surely wear out his welcome. Though some admirers have bragged that on a GOOD day Marshall could wear out his welcome within the first ten minutes.

For those of us who were honored to house Marshall for brief periods, (probably everyone here) there are many stories. At my house; most times Marshall, knowing there was quite a turnover
of my children coming and going, would arrive at the gate, unannounced, saying, "Hi, I'm here for a few days. Do you have room?" He actually preferred it when all the beds were taken. That way he was sure to get his favorite; the couch in the living room where he could keep the TV going all night and stay near the refrigerator. He loved the refrigerator.If you sneaked in and turned it off, he would shortly wake up and turn it back on – so he could sleep.

Once Marshall's through the front gate, he's off headlong into the refrigerator. –What'cha got to eat? Don't get up. I'll help myself." --A minute later he's standing in the middle of the living room chomping and dribbling from what he says is a tuna fish sandwich. Now, HOW the hell did he open a can of tuna and make the sandwich that fast? Marshall, chomping away, says, "It's quite unusual. Rather sweet. I like it. Sweet tuna fish. Interesting". --My daughters had left a bowl of cookie dough in the frig. "Rather sweet," --Like Marshall --at times.

His Sunday songwriter-singer evenings, when he lived near us in Venice, were wonderful and, like Marshall, always interesting The cuisine he served was no different. Some first-look responses to one of his "guess-what 's-in-this" dishes might be: "Do you think it's safe to eat that? That's an odd color. Taste it! YOU taste it! Laurie ate some. --And David. Where are they?
--Laurie's in. the bathroom. And David? --Oh, you didn't hear?" When, in fact, the food was always tasty and quite often SAFE. He would plan elaborate events with special effects. Several
microphones. Special mo6d-lighting. His "Infinity" room; a small fancifully lit room, mirrored "wall-to-wall, above and below in which, I think, he often traveled, was indeed, a non-chemical
based EXCURSION not to be missed. It's been said that, without ever physically leaving the "Infinity" room, SOME trips "without destination" were often experienced without too much anxiety.

I can see Marshall now; endlessly plugging and unplugging and replugging and tracing down cords to amplifiers. Often he would disappear then later return with a change of costume and a new focused dedication to finding, through an M.C. Escher-like maze of useless cords, the end of yet another useless cord. Then, frustrated, he would go for a somewhat "edgier" costume change.

Once, I recall his wearing a voice-activated brooch, down about "There" on his tights, that lit up and twinkled when spoken into. He walked over to my visiting lady friend, Susan, who was
somewhat conservative, new to Venice Beach, meeting Marshall for the first time, AND seated eye-level to Marshall's brooch. Marshall said, "Speak into this!" She managed a rather shaky,
"Hello".And he twinkled off to twinkle elsewhere.

Nothing technical ever or rarely ever worked. Feedback. Dead. Whoever could accompany on the piano would have to leave early following the many delays of complicated technological failures. The evening would completely fall apart and THEN, before your very eyes, RISE FROM THE ASHES, somehow turning into a special, wonderful evening with Marshall telling stories and singing a capella, or along to tracks from a pink boom-box, dueting with himself. Eventually a talented tickler of ivories would stroll in. Michael Feinstein would come in late, from a performance elsewhere. Andrea Marcovicci the same. Or Dale Gonyea. Or Michelle Brourman. My daughters, Amber and Fiona might duet. Fiona, at the age of eleven, and encouraged by Marshall, started playing and singing her own highly personal and sophisticated songs at Marshall's parties. Marshall, praising Fiona, who (using her middle name) is now
known to the MTV world as Fiona Apple, said that at that age he'd written only one song, a song about his little dog. Of course Marshall later followed his "little dog" song with a "little mouse" song; "The Mighty Mouse Theme," it's called, and still heard on the famous cartoon.

And my daughter, Amber Maggart, (changing her~name to Maude Maggart, after my grandmother, Maude Apple) made her professional debut right here in this theatre earlier this year in Marshall and Hugh Martin's "Happy Lot". The musical was originally called, "A Little Night Music," and written before the "other one," but that's another story.

It was originally written for Jeanette MacDonald and Liza Minelli. But unfortunately set aside after Jeanette MacDonald's death. You can imagine my thrill at being on stage in my friends'
musical with my daughter, Michael Feinstein, Melissa Converse, the grand and wonderful Betty Garrett, and members of the TheatreWest company singing those beautiful songs. Shelly Markham playing and conducting. But Alas, ALAS! Somehow, once again, plugs weren't plugged into the right places. Cords snaked off into Pasadena! Microphones sputtered. It opened like a "train-wreck". --With Marshall getting his pages mixed up and extemporizing off into at least three other librettos relating vaguely to this one. But, FEAR NOT! Deus Ex Machina and his assistant, Mighty Mouse, arrived just in time to "save the day" and pull off yet another magical-Marshall-musical-miracle.

Forgive me, I've drifted! Back to Marshall's Sunday soirees, with Anita Nye or David Ross, both of whom wrote beautifully with Marshall. Carl Anderson. Ronny Graham with a major
HYSTERICAL set. (Sometimes dueling parodies with Marshall) enchanting Melissa Converse, Betty Garrett and Marshall's favorite, Laurie McIntosh. The eternally agreeable Laurie was
Marshall's favorite because, besides being so incredibly talented, she knows EVERY LYRIC. --And he truly loved her.

Myself, producer Jeannine Frank and many, many more, I haven't mentioned, were LUCKY enough to share those Marshall Barer evenings. Making for a truly "Venice Beach" Marshall Barer evening, Marshall always kept his front door open with neighbors and some of the local homeless drifting in and out. You might see a few shabbily dressed, unbathed and mystified nomads grazing Marshall's table and overhear: "There's no accounting for what rich people will eat. --It looks a little like what I ate here about a month ago and that tasted pretty good. --That might be the case, looks like somebody ate it about a month ago."
Things you might not know about Marshall: Marshall traveled light. If he needed a change of wardrobe, he would pay a visit to the nearest "thrift shoppe". He came in one day with a shopping bag stuffed with what he was going to wear to an important meeting the next day, and dumped the contents onto my dining room table: Armani suit, shirt, tie, cufflinks, felt hat and flip-flops. Smiling proudly, he said, "Seven bucks!" Next day, he looked fairly nice. Although, when he left, I noticed the suit coat was held together by a safety pin or two and some gaffers tape.

Marshall's "pitch" meeting was at Disney. He got there a half hour late, driving in his start-stop, bucking style. ---"Aruum-aruum-aruum-aruum." The "suits" were NOT receptive. I think he frightened them. Marshall was known be quite animated under stress. Although, merely relieving himself, he became a "minor legend" within some circles at Disney that day. After the dismal meeting, he left in such a huff that he forgot to take a much needed trip to the men's room. So, he opened his car door, partially shielding himself, and peed there in the Disney parking lot. Word quickly spread around the lot about Marshall's meeting and that Marshall's act was an artistic COMMENT. Of course, you know how things tend to get exaggerated when wind of a "legend" begins to circulate. Marshall told me that they could believe it if they wanted to but he definitely did NOT pee on their conference table. BUT, so goes the legend. By the way, I believe the show he was "pitching" that day was a musical that he had written with Dean Fuller. It's a show that really should be done. The name of the show was, and is, "Appearances
--Based on, you guessed it, --"The Emperor's New Clothes".

Everyone knows about his denim-patch covered Mercedes that he drove around BUT, besides being a terrible driver, "Aruum-aruum," he wore two pairs of glasses at the same time when he drove. One over the other. "Aruum-aruum." --(Those magnifying glasses you buy in the drug store.) "Aruum-aruum." What a sight, seeing Marshall drive by, especially for camera-happy tourists. Low in the driver's seat, barely peeping over the hood, a shock of grey hair over a double row of glasses and a tan, leathered, very intense face, all wrapped within a denim Mercedes. "Aruum-aruum-aruum." ---Sometimes he rode his motor scooter. That was a sight as well.

When he moved to Santa Fe, a few years ago, I insisted that Marshall let my son, Brandon, drive him there. AND I insisted that Marshall, should he have ANY illegal substances, God forbid, PLEASE jettison such substances BEFORE leaving. BECAUSE, should the highway patrol observe this denim-patch covered Mercedes, a younger man driving an older gentleman, the older gentleman wearing a tie-dyed parachute-like ensemble and listening to a pink boom-box, and red kerchief tucked in the pocket of the right rear window, the law enforcement officers MIGHT POSSIBLY, I repeat, MIGHT POSSIBLY become curious enough to pull such vehicle over for a closer look!! Marshall agreed. But RENEGED, even before reaching the end of the block, as I later found out. I was, what you call, really pissed. MUCH later it became a long hilarious story that my son loves to tell, concerning a long side trip to the biosphere and several scary stops at diners along the way. My dear son and Marshall weren't fond of each other before the trip and they LOATHED each other afterwards.

Back in L.A., safe and sound, rid of Marshall, but still shaking off the trauma, Bran walked into the neighborhood card shoppe on the corner and saw someone, looking somewhat like Marshall Barer, scanning the cards, and standing in a Marshall manor; That being, he would put one leg forward and rock back and forth with slight pelvic thrusts while expounding, or in this case, scanning. Bran said his heart stopped.

--"Could there be two of them!?!" Then he was truly ashamed when the gentleman walked away, in the same rocking manor, ---physically impaired.

Marshall WAS, in many ways, the "eighth" of my talented and lovable (at times) children. Certainly he was, along with Ronny Graham, a member of our family and treated as such. One afternoon I heard my actor son, Garett, from an upstairs bathroom, cry out in his best Shakespearian anguish, "NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOO! Marshall's heeeeere!" He didn't even know Marshall was in L.A. until he opened his new jar of a special hair gel. There a perfect, singular HANDFUL of gel had been scooped out. Besides the refrigerator, Marshall was fond of using other peoples toiletries. I told Garett that at least Marshall had put the top back on. Garett replied, "But couldn't he have put the top back on with his NON-GELLED hand?"

Marshall and Amber adored each other, while, according to Marshall, he and Fiona were the most alike AND the most at odds. "We're both true eccentrics," he said. "We're very much alike." But Fiona, being a vegan, kept her food sealed and in its place in the frig. Marshall was, shall we say, "not like that". Besides helping himself to her special juices, non-dairy and meatless dishes, he would leave his prey out on the counter top and uncovered. Fiona's reaction; "expletive deleted." And that girl can really "expletive delete".

Over the years Marshall allowed me to video-tape hours and hours of himself talking about his life and how he perceived his curious world. Sometimes I could get both of my best friends together, those being Marshall and Ronny. Their mutual admiration and respect was a joy to behold. I highly recommend such friendships for whatever might ail you.

On one of the last tapes, Marshall said, "This, Brandon, will be a 'NOW IT CAN BE TOLD' session". Marshall said that he had loved and/or had affairs with at least four women. The first (I'll only give first names for obvious reasons) was Rosemary. Rosemary and Marshall were madly in love with each other. This was before puberty. Puberty changed the relationship but they loved each other until Rosemary's premature death. I hope I remember this story correctly but this was not taped. He told this to me during brunch about six weeks before his death. We were eating at the Dandelion in Venice. I had eggs benedict and he had eggs Florentine. He talked about how the two of them were inseparable growing up in West Palm Beach. How their love had survived their differences and even through her marriage and having children and his --not. Rosemary was his "first and PUREST love," he said.

He told how after his mother's death he had left the funeral services and retreated to his old neighborhood in West Palm Beach, where, as a young boy, he had many times walked down the street and tossed small stones up to Rosemary's second-floor window. And how, on this night,
feeling the loss of his mother, he had retraced his boyhood steps, barefoot, down the same street to Rosemary's old house. And how, staring up at the window and reflecting, he remembered their closeness. Then he heard a voice say, "Don't smoke dear". She never called me "dear" before, he said. --But this was the adult Rosemary's voice talking to him and telling him not to suffer her fate. Marshall said he didn't know what to make of it but that, "THAT was Rosemary's voice."

Marshall was so focused telling the story that he didn't notice,--as he was talking, he was spraying me and my plate of eggs benedict with missiles from his eggs Florentine. I'm sitting directly across from him and, not wanting to interrupt, I move down a space, in an effort to avoid the flying Florentine. Marshall didn't notice I'd moved, but he spoke more forcefully and propelled more bits of spinach and egg. So, I'm dealing with this and the inherent impulse to laugh, while, at the same time, I'm being truly moved by the story. Now, we're both gathering eye moisture and it could go either way. But, just as the story hit it's emotional peak, I lost it, laughing in poor Marshall's face. Marshall was, of course, taken aback, stunned, and puzzled, until I explained. He understood, as would, we agreed, Mary Tyler Moore; knowing that laughter
at inappropriate times was almost impossible to control. The reference was, of course, the episode where Mary laughs uncontrollably during a funeral.

He was less understanding on another occasion. On his first trip back after moving to Santa Fe, he shows up at my front gate all bedecked in cowboy duds. The Kid had gone "cowboy," full tilt boogie; complete with cowboy hat, long "Shirley Temple" ringlets, leather fringed jacket, cowboy boots and lots of turquoise. At first glance, one might think it was Buffalo Bill Cody himself. But as he posed, I blurted out, "Well, I do believe it's mister Annie Oakley!" --That was not the reference he was looking for.

Speaking of women, there was also, (I WILL give her name) Anais Ninn. Yes. He had "been with Anais Ninn" in Paris. "She liked young beautiful boys," Marshall said. AND there was Jill. She with, "the most beautiful and saddest eyes."

And finally, Mary. (NO last name here, but Marshall referred to her as "Dorothy's daughter") Mary and Marshall had been successful creative partners, friends, and finally lovers. They planned to be married. They had already told Marshall's parents, who were quite happy. And surprised. Although his sister, Natalie, according to Marshall, was not so sure.
She said, "Look, we know we're a good and fine family but we know little or nothing about them. There could be all sorts of skeletons." Marshall said he admired Natalie greatly for saying that. On the other hand, Mary's parents, extremely prominent in New York society and the theatre world, presented another problem. --After a while Mary thought it best to break the news first to her mother who would in turn present it to the father. Marshall tells the story (this one IS on tape) with the greatest, painful, almost child-like glee. The father had no immediate comment but told the mother to tell the daughter to meet him in his office the following day. Now Marshall is roaring. The father, an icon in the American musical theatre, said, "My God, Mary! Why don't you just go the whole way and marry Truman Copote??" By now Marshall's laughing so hard he's--near tears. In the end, of course, they did not marry. But that's yet another story involving another celebrated lyricist who seemed to be constantly, though not intentionally,
stepping in the hem of Marshall's gown.

So, who was Marshall Barer and what was he doing here? How could such order and beauty come out of such chaos? How could someone so exhausting be so loved? --And, is it possible that his whole creative performance mode could have come from a highly unorthodox but successful formula that he stumbled onto and was loathe to abandon?? --I'm quoting here from a cabaret review printed in the New York Daily News on December 1, 1977, and written by Patricia O'Haire. "The world's first, and possibly last, performance of "An Evening With Marshall Barer" took place Monday evening at the Ballroom, as part of it's continuing Composers' series. IT WAS A HOWL."

It goes on to give some of his credits and that he was, .. so nervous in the spotlight that his hands
fluttered more than a flag in a windstorm. He held onto his tape recorder as if it were a security blanket. He had some friends to give him moral --and vocal courage; people like Anita Ellis, Indira, Tally Brown and Roberta Ross to sing, and Ellis Larkins to play piano; BUT it was ONE OF THOSE TIMES WHEN NOTHING WORKED RIGHT. STILL, THE RESULT WAS CHARMING AND FREQUENTLY HILARIOUS." --Does that sound vaguely familiar?

Again: "For Example, the show opened with Marshall and all the women singing while holding aloft flickering votive lights. His went out and he couldn't read his music. On stage he had trouble with his mike. --"I don't like this much anyway," he said. His hands trembled so he couldn't read the list of his songs, so he decided just to muddle through. He went to sing with his tape recorder only to find he had the wrong tape on; at one point, Larkins sat down to play for Anita Ellis and discovered that it was Tally Browns's song time. (Here comes my favorite) Craig Zadan, who had put the show together, stood on the side divorcing his hair from his scalp."

And it winds up: "It was a stew of a show --everything was thrown in; without regard to its mix-match qualities; YET THE RESULT WAS A DELECTABLE DISH THAT I AM SURE COULD NEVER POSSIBLY BE RECREATED." End quote. --Not so fast there O'Haire! Is it possible that Marshall got such a RUSH out of that nights' performance, in 1977, that he DID RECREATE that same CHAOS the rest of his life? Did he, there, that winters night, become instantly addicted to an intermingling of disaster and triumph? --I know I saw endless versions of that (whether by design or not) when he would place an abrasive stone in our shoe and, then by removing it, make it a JEWEL IN HIS CROWN!

Marshall Barer was no Timothy Leary but he did venture into the far reaches of space on excision. He's out there now. But not to worry, he wouldn't miss this! He's probably in a Celestial Cab now, putting the finishing touches on a lyric he wants to drop off at Duke Ellington's Cloud, or David Ross' or Alec Wilder's.

After chatting and laughing with as many friends as he could here in Twinkle Town, Marshall proceeded to, of course, "leave us wanting more." Finally rejecting any more "chemo," he told me and his doctor that he "was ready". He'd "had a wonderful life". My son Garett and I drove him to the airport for his final trip to Santa Fe, where he said he wanted to curl up in his own bed with his dog, Sweetheart, and his cat, named Cat, and have "some wonderful food and some wonderful drugs". He asked Garett if he'd ever experienced a morphine high? Garett asked him what it was like? Marshall said, "000000, S'WONDERFUL" On the way to the airport, Marshall laughed and sang some of his songs. (one about 'belching') And he said something very curious. He was laughing and he said, "This is--. I might just pull this off." I'm not sure what it meant. Maybe that he was feeling so good he couldn't possibly be dying. Carolee and Izumi were at the terminal, waiting with a wheelchair and a very considerate fellow from customer services provided by the airline.

One final item, or as Marshall considered it, one final honor, that I'm sure he would like everyone to know. He was very, very proud that he was "barred for life" from The Comedy Store. On an open-mike night, years ago, Marshall had made an attempt at "standup" comedy. He performed some bizarre act involving a string of small wieners. After stripping down to his jocky shorts he apparently pulled said string of weiners from his frontal nest. This act, perceived lewd by even the very liberal Comedy Store, got him "Barred for life!"

In an effort to make me understand the "lewdness," he performed the "act" in my living room one night. Roaring~ with laughter. I never did figure out what the hell the act was about. He was laughing too hard to be understood, except for the part about being "barred for life". He loved that.

The visual alone was probably enough to get him tossed out. And to be honest, I thought about asking him not to come back myself! He was laughing his ass off, "You can't get banned from the Comedy Store! Nobody gets banned from the Comedy Store! But I DID!!"

I think we can safely say that Marshall Barer did not go through life "unnoticed".

Marshall told myself, Ronny Graham, Laurie McIntosh and his good friend and archivist, Reg Fulton that he wanted to put the FUN back in "funeral". He wanted to "Exit Laughing!" And he and we did quite a bit of that.

THEN he wanted his friends and admirers to gather again and have lots of laughs and sing some wonderful songs, preferably his.

So, everybody get loose and join the celebration. Ronny Graham knows how to start us off. So--. Wait a minute! Excuse me. I've just handed myself a note--. "Someone wearing a cowboy hat, jockey shorts, and Angel's Wings held together by a safety-pin or two, just fell through an open window into the upstairs office and he seems to be TWINKLING." --MARSHALL BARER IS IN THE HOUSE!

---HIT IT RONNY!!